Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Why the Silver Age was a huge improvement over the Golden Age.

Why do DC fans and creators the likes of Mark Waid, Alex Ross, and Geoff Johns all look to the Silver Age of DC Comics as their be all and end all era of comics? Well, have you seen what was on the shelf before? Here are some examples I've compiled to prove why the Silver Age was a massive improvement.


Madame Fatal: A figure taking on the terrifying and vengeful guise of... an old lady?!

And it sucks because: Not only would most criminals not give two sh*ts about an old lady trying to stop them, THIS old lady had a secret... she was actually a perverted middle aged man disguised as an old lady! In the panel from the comic you see on your right you see a man having a conversation with himself (bizarre), and it is revealed that Madame Fatal is "LOOKING FOR SOME ACTION" (WINK WINK!) and feels "SWELL!" (WINK! WINK!) It's a helluva issue, and it kept the kids coming back for an astounding twenty-two issues! 1940 was a weird time I guess. The panel below shows both the perverted strangeness of the whole idea as well as a reveal of Madame Fatal's convoluted motives.... enjoy.
The Red Bee: Really just some random guy in gay pride colors with a bee gimmick.

And it sucks because: The Red Bee doesn't make any sense to begin with because bees are yellow. So right away we have a perplexing problem: if you are going with a bee gimmick, which is bizarre enough, why not be the Yellow Bee? Why the Red Bee? This is the least of the problems with this character though. Observe the panels on
the right. This guy's arch nemesis could be
Rolled-up Newspaper Man, and the sad thing is
he would be a conceivable threat to Red Bee. Notice Red Bee doesn't unleash a swarm of bees, he appears to only have one. I can safely tell you if I had a gun it would take more than a single bee to take me down, but of course this is the Golden Age so naturally this crook is a cowardly weakling who can't take a bee sting. Nothing could make this now public domain character cool.


The Whizzer: It's not what you think! It refers to super speed! Wait.... it's not what you think!

And it sucks because: Wikipedia says it best when describing this guy's origin. "The origin of the Golden Age character begins while Robert Frank is on a trip to Africa with his father, Dr. Emil Frank, where Robert is bitten by a cobra. Dr. Frank saves Robert by a transfusion of mongoose blood, and soon discovers that he has developed super-speed. Frank then decides to fight crime." I am pretty sure if I got a blood transfusion from a martial arts expert I wouldn't recover and find out that I am a total martial arts bad ass. So I am completely sure that if I got a blood transfusion from an animal that a) I wouldn't get powers, and b) I would probably die because... you know... I am human. Out of curiosity is it me, or is the rubber chicken on his head delivering this line?



The Black Condor: Raised by ravenous condors who didn't eat him for some reason. The Black Condor observed condors as they flew and somehow learned to fly without being born with this power or having any kind of wings or mechanism to, you know, fight gravity.

And it sucks because: If achieving flight were as easy as observing birds for a little while we probably would have done it before the 20th century. All the reasons this character sucks should be obvious. If you think these characters can compete with the Silver Age, you have a severe case of being brain dead.










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